More Than Love

How many times have we heard husbands and wives say, "I love him, but I just can't live with him anymore!"? Or, how about this one, "Sure, I love Sarah and the kids, but my mistress, Tonya, gives me something they can't; romance and passion!"

Do you know that a large percentage of spouses who commit adultery insist they love their partner at home? Obviously, love, alone, is not enough.

Love is a grand thing indeed, but there are times in life we don't always "feel" very loving; when we are pushed to the brink and beyond of our patience, and feelings of anger, resentment, or sadness over-rule. Are we to break away from love merely because we are experiencing other human emotions, or is there something more that keeps us comfortably restrained?

Obedience and commitment are two other "glues" that keep love safely intact. For example, as a parent, we may despise the fact our teen has been terribly acting out, and we may be at our wits end dealing with his seemingly uncontrollable behavior, but, as parents, we push the feelings of disappointment, worry and frustration aside so that we can carry on our role as parent. We do not throw our hands up and shout, "I give up! I will no longer be this child's parent!" Instead, we realize our COMMITMENT, and OBEDIENTLY follow though, continuing to reach out to this child, pray for him, and simply being there incase he falls. Love alone is not enough.

I think many men and women go in to marriage thinking, from this point on, life will be like a fairy-tale. There will be no smelly socks tossed on the floor, no arguments over finances, no petty jealousies or power struggles, no saggy knees, or gray hair, and life will be sweet and perfect forever more.

Sorry to disappoint you, that may happen in some some cheap romantic novel, but it is simply not reality. Hard as we may try, love will never be perfect while we are upon earth, because there is only one perfect love, and that is from God. Our heavenly Father's love has nothing to do with rings and roses, romance and wine. And, like human love, we are not just called to open our hearts and love, but to OBEY as well. We are to obey God's commands even when we don't feel like it. In my opinion, this is the sign of real love; our commitment and obedience to our relationships, not as man says they should be, but how God tells us love is.

When I think of my own marriage, I realize that the stuff that really matters is not the quiet dinners we had while we gazed in to each other's eyes, nor was it the times we walked hand in hand on the beach in Florida, or shared intimate moments. What helped to construct that foundation of love was the times I was sick or depressed, and my husband cared for me. Add to that the many times he went to work even when he was dead tired, so that our children and I could have food on the table and a roof over our heads, and when he brushed off a flirtatious employee at work, letting her know he was a married man who cared about his marriage.

Being committed to marriage or parenthood is not intended to be a life prison sentence. The sentiment behind this call to obedience is to allow us to work together, both husband and wife, on the inevitable bumps in the road, rather than toss the whole package away.

Today, as you consider these words, won't you also think about your relationship and commitment to God? Will we obey Him, or will we give up on Him and throw away our salvation?

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Contributed by Melanie Schurr (Copyright (c)2003 Melanie Schurr) Melanie Schurr is author of "Ecstatic Living Ecstatic Loving: How to have more peace and joy in marriage, and life in general by walking in harmony with God," and "Son Salutations: A refreshing collection of modern inspirations for those who seek God each day." For more information, visit her web page at www.angelfire.com/mi/melschurr