Quit Trying So Hard

I didn't have a lot to say to Nancy in answer to her question, but I've been thinking about it for a fairly long time since then. What follows are some thoughts about loving and enjoying.

One must, I suppose, start by defining love. Jesus said that we were to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48). Now, if they're really our enemies, love and enjoyment don't sleep well together. Jesus surely meant by love, a love different than the love with which I love my wife and my friends. So, I suppose one can love someone without enjoying them.

There are some people who are loved better from a distance.

I remember a staff person I needed to fire. Frankly, he was hurting people, hurting me and causing all kinds of damage. Someone very spiritual told me that before I could fire him I had to love him. That sounded right to me, so I proceeded to pray that I could love him so I could fire him. I would get it prayed through and come close to loving him, but then he would walk through the door and I would lose it. He drove me nuts and, frankly, stayed on the staff because he drove me nuts.

Then a very wise businessman said to me something that may not have been very spiritual, but it was wise: "Steve, you're neurotic. If he needs to be fired, fire him, then you can love him." I did. I learned to love him too... but I did it better from a distance than up close.

So, yeah, someone can love without necessarily enjoying the person one loves. People say that love isn't a noun but a verb. Love, they say, isn't what you feel, but what you do. If that is true (and I'm not sure that it is, completely) it is certainly possible to love someone without enjoying them.

But if love is a passion, and I sometimes think that a deep and profound love must be that, I'm not sure that one can separate love and enjoyment. I don't think I've ever enjoyed anything that or anyone who I did not, in a sense, love. I enjoy being around my wife... but the enjoyment is a part of the love I have for her. And frankly, it wasn't so much a decision as it was a fever... I was just hanging out when I noticed Anna. Then "it" happened.

It sounds really spiritual to talk about love as something aside from feeling; but, at least in the deepest sense, love does involve feelings.

Quit trying so hard. He asked me to remind you.

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Copyright 2002 Key Life Network. Today's Daily Wisdom is from Steve Brown. His Bible teaching is heard daily on hundreds of radio stations through the Key Life Network. For the frequency of a station near you go to www.keylife.org

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