What We Can Learn From the "Lesser Knowns"

The media makes note of the well-known celebrities who die, and this year there is quite a long, sad list: John Ritter. Fred Rogers. Johnny Cash. June Carter Cash. Bob Hope. David Brinkley. Gregory Peck. Katharine Hepburn. Buddy Hackett. Buddy Ebsen. But we also lost a lot of lesser or little knowns--people who never the less contributed their many gifts to the betterment of us all. It is always interesting what you find out about a person at a funeral or memorial service.

My husband and I walked into a funeral home recently for the wake of an elderly church member. I saw bright dots of color through the windows. No, it wasn't flowers, but balloons! Were we in the right parlor? Had some family celebration taken over the funeral home?

The balloons were for the then oldest living charter member of our congregation who had died: Lois Funkhouser Yager. She was an elementary educator in the public schools and at our church, but what I didn't know was that she dearly loved balloons. In memory of her mother, her daughter had ordered 92 balloons, grouped in colorful bouquets, one balloon in celebration of each of her 92 years. At her graveside service, they released most of those balloons. I know environmental purists might complain but those working in grief circles frequently "let off" balloons as a way of letting go of grief.

Of Ms. Yager it was said, "She may have been 92 outside but she was still a child inside." Of course that was meant in the best way-not childish but childlike, reveling in a simple thrill like a ride in a fire engine for her 90th birthday. Can we enter the New Year with this kind of spirit and enthusiasm?

A child gets much joy from a simple wagon ride around the block. Why does it take a trip to Vegas or Hawaii to excite us? A child wants to repeat a horse-y ride on your knee over and over. How come the routine becomes mundane for us so quickly? Been there, done that. A child wants you to push her back and forth on a swing as long as your energy will keep going; wants to pause on the sidewalk to watch an ant; takes great joy in bringing you a bouquet of dandelions; is proud to offer you a new painting for the Refrigerator Art Gallery.

Another lesser known who also died this year but who did much for those in the 65-105 year old age bracket was my co-worker's father, Earl D. Greaser. He was a long time member of an a cappella quartet and was a great lover of music, so at his memorial service it was natural to celebrate his life with much music of the church. He seemed young at 76, but had lived long enough to see his personal dream fulfilled: overseeing the completion of an entire beautiful retirement village here in Virginia with state-of-the-art and quality care for persons of all income levels and stages of ability.

Earl spent most of his career working with elderly persons in one facility or another, born out of a desire to help care for those who couldn't care for themselves. At his memorial service I learned about another side to this renaissance man: not only was he a church leader, musician and retirement village visionary, but the kind of man who would drop what he was doing to go and help someone else whether it was installing a switch for a well pump, "Uh, I've never done that before, but let's see what we can figure out" or loaning the use of his carpenter shop and tools to a young father who wanted to build a crib for his baby-to-be. There were many other stories along these lines.

I wish some of his spirit would rub off on more of us, too: always ready to take the time to help someone else. If you haven't written your New Year's resolutions yet, here are two maybe different ones to consider: Take time to be more childlike, or just enjoy being with a child; and take time to help other people.

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Contributed by Melodie Davis from her weekly columnANOTHER WAY (http://www.thirdway.com/aw/).For information on using Another Way in a local newspaper, contact:ANOTHER WAY, 1251 Virginia Ave., Harrisonburg, VA 22801-2497; or call1-800-999-3534; fax at 540-434-5556; or email me at:Melodie@mennomedia.org