Altered Vision

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."- Anais NinWhen I first eyed the above quote, my mind immediately recalled a past painful period in my otherwise happy almost twenty year marriage.Everything I thought I was certain of seemed to slowly disintegrate. The key word is "seemed." Not only did I question who I was as a woman approaching middle age, but every facet of my life was placed under this same distorted microscope. I use the word distorted since the vision I saw with at that span in time was not fully accurate. It is like when you place a strand of hair under a microscope. Magnified one hundred times, the hair suddenly looks like a rope strong enough to tie down a large boat.

Looking back, I now know that I went through a mid-life crisis of sorts. Who knows if it was hormonal or psychological, or a combination of the two, but one thing is for certain, at that moment it all seemed very real, and the adversary was taking great advantage of my new weakened state. I needed my husband to be there for me, to comfort, embrace and assure me, and it seemed like he wasn't. The problem was, how can someone come to your rescue when they don‚t even know you need help? Love and care was intact, but what truly had began to weaken after many years of marriage was communication, and my newly weakened state had allowed me to be more self-centered and insecure.

I thought my husband knew what I was going through, and simply chose to turn his back on my crisis, but the reality was that I did not effectually communicate how desperate a state I was in, in a way he could clearly understand and react to. He was there, but not in the way I needed him.Thankfully, once the situation came to a head, we were both able to not only see reality for what it truly was, but we also took every necessary measure to raise our marriage to the place of esteem it deserved.I cannot help but wonder how many marriage problems can be resolved by merely altering our perceptions? How easy it is to become panicked and overwhelmed over an issue which may seem like a mountain, but when viewed as God sees it is really only a molehill. As you know, small problems can easily be ironed out through effective communication, mutual compromise, and patience. Of course, there is also the most important healer of marriage problems, and that is our Lord, God!As the above quote conveys, our perceptions tend to be based on where our head is at during a particular span in time. If we are in an unhealthy state, how can we expect our assessments and perceptions to be fully accurate?Today, won't you please join me in a heartfelt prayer for all marriages which may be undergoing a difficult period? Alone we are weak, but with God's love and light, all things are possible!

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Contributed by Melanie Schurr (Copyright (c)2003 Melanie Schurr) Melanie Schurr is author of "Ecstatic Living Ecstatic Loving: How to have more peace and joy in marriage, and life in general by walking in harmony with God," and "Son Salutations: A refreshing collection of modern inspirations for those who seek God each day." For more information, visit her web page at www.angelfire.com/mi/melschurr