To Forgive is Divine

What is the toughest thing you've ever had to forgive?The hardest thing I ever had to forgive involved the time my dad discoveredthat someone had gotten into his desk and sharpened crayons or pencilsleaving a mess everywhere. He was justifiably angry. Obviously one of usfour children had done the deed.

"So come on kids, 'fess up." But no one would. We weren't usually defiant orunwilling to tell the truth. But on that particular deed, no one wouldconfess to being the culprit. He gave us an extra chance, and said if no onewould confess, he would have to punish us all.

The deadline came and went, and still no one would confess. Perhaps a friendhad left the mess, unbeknownst to any of us. One of us said we would cleanup the mess, even though we hadn't done it.

Finally Dad had to punish us all, and he sent us upstairs to kneel down andsay our prayers asking God to forgive us for telling a lie.

That was hard: asking God for forgiveness for something you know you didn'tdo. But the really hard part was forgiving my father for punishing me forsomething I didn't do. I don't blame my father for what was an unresolvedissue in our family for many years. I can't remember if we ever found outwhat actually happened, but I do remember the feeling of being wronged.

Now, I realize I have been very fortunate, and if this is the worststory I can come up with, I really don't have anything to complain about.Some folks have forgiven grave issues like infidelity, abuse, the murder oftheir child. During the past year I've been privileged to be part of a teamof persons who produced some radio spots telling some of these incrediblestories of forgiveness. Naomi forgave a doctor who accidentally removed bothbreasts during what was to have been a single mastectomy. Marietta chose toforgive the man who murdered her child after stealing her out of the familytent, and then called a year later taunting them.

The spots are airing right now on radio stations all across the U.S. on apublic service basis and I hope you have a chance to hear some of thesestories on air. (If you can't catch any on the radio, you can check them andother stories out on our web site at thirdway.com)

Why forgive a gross wrong? The old saying is very true: to err ishuman, to forgive is divine. When we forgive, we are acting like God. I recognize that for someone who is not a religious person, he or she lacksthat motivation. Yet there is an increasing body of research that looks athow forgiving others enables you to move on with your life. Persons whodwell on their bitterness and the wrong done to them get stuck on thatinjustice, and often experience health or family problems as a result.The first thing all these people who have forgiven a gross wrong would tellyou is that it is not a simple thing; nor should anyone else tell someonewhat they have to do. It's a personal thing you get to after a long processof dealing with anger, bitterness and unresolved injustice. They say it isnot a matter of letting someone off the hook for what they have done.Wrongdoers need to be held accountable; but for your own sanity, your ownhealth, your own peace of mind, those who have chosen to forgive find thatthe process enables them to move on with their lives.

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Contributed by Melodie Davis from her weekly columnANOTHER WAY (http://www.thirdway.com/aw/).For information on using Another Way in a local newspaper, contact:ANOTHER WAY, 1251 Virginia Ave., Harrisonburg, VA 22801-2497; or call1-800-999-3534; fax at 540-434-5556; or email me at:Melodie@mennomedia.org