Healing Old Wounds

I must admit there was a few years earlier in my 23 year marriage that my mother and I were not speaking to each other. No doubt she had her reasons for not picking up the phone to call me, and my own lack of response was, admittedly, a shameful attempt to punish her for the wrongs I felt she had committed against me. Once we finally did mend our relationship, however, I began to realize that the one I was hurting most was myself.

During those missed few years I had deprived myself of what could have been and is now a nice mother-daughter relationship.

As we live on opposite sides of the country, my mother comes to visit me and mine, once a year. I, in turn, make every effort to fly up annually as well. During those times, we go out for lunch, sip a glass of wine and talk until there is nothing more left to say. When we return to her home, we talk more, until our eyes are heavy and it is time for bed.

I cherish these moments because I am aware of the reality that due to her 76 years, her time on this earth is growing shorter. Likewise, does any of us really know how long we have to live? Could a sudden heart attack, disease or car accident claim our life? Regardless, mom too must realize this because her words and actions are more carefully chosen, and most conversations end in "I love you," something mom seemed to have a hard time saying years ago. Ever since her son passed on at age 48, mom is more keenly aware of the importance of letting those she loves know it.

I am thankful to have learned this truth before it was too late. Mom too has learned a hard lesson. However, I cannot help but wonder about the many people in the world who continue to allow past grudges, hurt, anger or pride rob them of what could be warm and wonderful relationships. A few months pass. Then a year. Before you know it, a decade or more.
My dear friend, how many people rely on the old saying of "Time heals all wounds," as the salvation in their broken relationships? They think that by ignoring the problem, it will go away with time, and the other party will simply forget. However, more often than not, the unattended wound becomes infected, and worsens. Even in the best scenario, a scar will remain; a constant reminder of what occurred.

Not all past relationships should be mended. However, those that SHOULD be, CAN be. All that is required is the sincere desire by both parties. And as with any deep wound, it is important to first clear the wound of any debris. Remove the blinders of denial, take away the over-abundance of pride, and clear away the dark covering of hatred and anger so you can see what you are truly dealing with. Sometimes, by time you remove all the gunk, the wound you feared was a deep laceration, turns out to only be a scrape that just requires some TLC. Next, cleanse the wound with the living water of God's love. Use this generously, and feel free to apply entirely over yourself to help refresh and renew your entire being. Next, apply the healing balm of love. Please note, love is patient, love is kind, love seeks out truth, and abhors injustice. Rub in liberally for the remaining years of your life.

When the wound is very wide or deep, stitches may be required. Do not hesitate to go to a professional, or get assistance, when needed.

Lastly, pray.

"Dear God, I have this terrible wound before me that I have ignored for far too long already. The relationship that I would like to see mended and healthy is important to me, and I am afraid that my years of neglect have only added to my misery over it. I am ready to make a change..today..before it is too late. I do not want to leave the world with this millstone hanging around my neck any longer. I am ready to do my part.

Forgive me God for wrongs I may have committed against You and my loved one/s. Bestow upon me Your mercy and grace so that I can begin the road to a renewed life.
This I ask in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

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Contributed by Melanie Schurr (Copyright (c)2005 Melanie Schurr) Melanie Schurr is author of "Ecstatic Living: A Christian marriage manual and Life-guide", "Son Salutations" and "Daily Contemplations", a collection of read-one-a-day modern inspirations. For more information, visit http://www.melanieschurr.com